srijeda, 14. rujna 2016.


A Cat's Prayer

Although I am too proud to beg, and may appear to be a very independent creature, I ask for your loving care and attention.

Translation: I'm the boss, serve me.


A Cat's Prayer

I rely on you for my well being much more than you may realise.

Translation: Go out and earn money to keep me in the style to which I intend to become accustomed.


A Cat's Prayer

This I promise you, my benefactor, that I will not be a burden on you nor will I demand more of you than you care to give.

Translation: The more attention I get, the more I want. You may have to hire another slave for me (by the way, I lie!).


A Cat's Prayer

I will be a quiet peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon; a soft soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest your weary ears.

Translation: I will tear round the house smashing ornaments at 3 a.m., infest the house with fleas, and bite your mother when she comes to visit (did I mention that I lie?).


A Cat's Prayer

Since I am a gourmet who appreciates different taste sensations, I pray you will give me a variety of nutritious foods and fresh water daily.

Translation: I need Evian water, changed at least six times per day, chilled but not too cold. Any food offerings that you make, no matter how expensive, will be turned down if I think there is a chance that I can scrounge the three day old bread that next door put out for the birds.


A Cat's Prayer

You know dear friend, how I love to sleep. Allow me, I pray, a warm sheltered place where I can rest peacefully and feel secure.

Translation: Don't you dare wake me, I know where you sleep, and will get revenge - claw type bloody revenge!


A Cat's Prayer

If I am wounded in battle or suffering from disease, please tend me gently, and see that I am treated by loving and competent hands.

Translation: I reserve the right to mangle the most expensive hands you hire to treat me.


A Cat's Prayer

Please protect me from the inhuman humans who would hurt and torture me for their own amusement. I am accustomed to your gentle touch and am not always suspicious nor swift enough to avoid such malicious acts.

Translation: If you ever find out that it was me who bit your mother's thumb and gave her tetanus, I'll have to claim that she woke me up when I was having a bad dream.

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