There were two cows in a field. The first cow said “moo” and the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked the second cow, “why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a foreign language.”

Q: Why do you bring fish to a party?
A: Because it goes good with chips.

Q: What would happen if pigs could fly?
A: The price of bacon would go up.

Q: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?
A: Take away his shovel!

Q: What did the frog say when he heard “time flies when you are having fun?”

A: Time is fun when you’re having flies! 

Q: What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A: It gave a little wine!

Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut!

A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn’t have a scent, the deer didn’t have a buck so they put the meal on the duck’s bill.

Q: What did one cow say to the other?
A: Mooooooove over!