*spliskemacke*

Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? 
He set a new lap record.

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens. 

What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.

What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat? 
A peeping tom.

Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

What is a cat's favourite song? 
Three Blind Mice.

What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice? Don't you have a cat?

What is a cat's way of keeping law & order? Claw Enforcement.

How did a cat take first prize at the bird show? 

He just jumped up to the cage,

 reached in, and took it.